Here are some words to live your life by from True Justice, Seagal's super shitty TV show (yes, way shittier than Lawman).
Dream a Little Dream 2 is an endurance test to say the least. Watching the Two Coreys flounder and flop about the set is torture, but no scene is more distressing than this...
American Hunter was apparently a key influence for Benjamin Marra's incredible Terror Assaulter (O.M.W.O.T.). The Arizal influence can definitely be seen in the ridiculous dialogue ("Let's just say, [insert something stupid here]"), the relentless explosions, and, of course, the absurd fight scenes.
My favourite moment in Hot Lunch is when Desiree Cousteau and Brigit Olsen trade verbal blows in a battle for the film's (hysterically bland) leading stud. The dialogue has a John Waters-esque filth and absurdity to it. I love it!
It's Alive III: Island of the Alive is my favourite from Larry Cohen's mutant baby franchise. Why? Because it doesn't take itself seriously as witnessed in this insane opening scene.
If Mr. Majestyk taught me anything it is do not... I repeat... do not fuck with Charles Bronson's watermelons.
Outside of Hong Kong cinema, it's pretty rare to see gratuitous kid death in a movie. Brian Yuzna breaks that rule very early on in Beneath Still Waters by tearing a child's face open. Yikes.
Recently, we featured Zatoichi eating a rock. This week we bring you Zatoichi eating some dirt in Zatoichi and the Fugitives.
This scene from Trancers II has it all: Tim Thomerson, gunfire, squibs, slow motion stupidity, disintegrating zombie idiots, a cutaway to terrified old ladies, and an awkward one-liner.
Initiation features some unbelievable effects work from Screaming Mad George. The best example of the Japanese effects master's work in this film can be seen in an absolutely repulsive ritual sequence that concludes with a very Cronenberg-esque chunder.
Sometimes Zatoichi is a total blind bad-ass and cuts down like a thousand guys with his sword. Sometimes, as seen in in Zatoichi Challened, Zatoichi eats rocks then regurgitates them back into his mouth to teach weird, confusing lessons to cackling shitty children.