Shitizen Kane
The Lords of Magick (1989)

The Lords of Magick (1989)

I’ve watched this twice now and I still can’t figure out why it exists. It isn’t the worst film I’ve ever seen, but it’s not far off either.
Double Down (2005)

Double Down (2005)

It takes time to hone in on your skills and master your craft, no matter what it is. In this case, the craft is unintentionally funny filmmaking.
Foodfight! (2012)

Foodfight! (2012)

Foodfight is a completely inexplicable film. Ten years, $65 million, a stellar cast and the misguided vision of an industry veteran has resulted in an ugly, ridiculous mess that shouldn’t have made it to release, but I’m glad it did.
Granny (1999)

Granny (1999)

While Granny isn't a good movie by any means, it reminded me of the short films I used to make with my friends as a kid and on that level it won me over.
Fateful Findings (2013)

Fateful Findings (2013)

Many of the great bad movies are the brainchild of one man. One man who overcame great obstacles, like not having any talent, to make their artistic vision come to fruition. Fateful Findings can be added to this list.
To All a Goodnight (1980)

To All a Goodnight (1980)

How did America's favourite cinematic rapist come to direct a Christmas slasher? How the fuck did this happen?! I don't know, but after watching the film, I feel that perhaps it shouldn't have happened.
Seance aka Killer in the Dark (2001)

Seance aka Killer in the Dark (2001)

If you like your horror films poorly made, poorly acted and not scary at all, Seance is a solid choice. Grab your friends and have a laugh.
Roar (1981)

Roar (1981)

Roar took eleven years to make. It wrapped in 1981. Tippi Hedren divorced Noel Marshall in 1982.
Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)

Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984)

Don't Open Till Christmas is both mind-numbing and exhilarating. It is an incomprehensible train-wreck trapped in a frustrating dream that goes nowhere, but with all the sleaze, boobs, and bloodied Santa outfits, I forgot to care.
The Roller Blade Seven (1991)

The Roller Blade Seven (1991)

After a lifetime of being brainwashed by Hollywood into thinking we know what a good movie looks like, sometimes you just need to see something so radically the opposite of professionally made to realign our karmic balance.
Hellroller (1992)

Hellroller (1992)

Shot on video and semi-improvised, Hellroller is a 100 minute long bad-taste entertainment machine for people with an unabashed hatred for mankind. And I loved it.
Elves (1989)

Elves (1989)

If you're struggling to find a movie to watch this Christmas, ditch all the usual schmaltzy garbage and grab yourself a copy of Elves. I can almost guarantee it's the only film in existence that culminates with an elf attempting to rape the leading lady.