1983, Jiang Long

Last year I went on a pilgrimage to Hong Kong to see the land that the bulk of my DVD collection is from. After briefly checking out the obligatory tourist spots, I set off to buy all the movies I could fit into my little suitcase, going from mall, to market, to mall. Most of the DVDs I collected on my trip I knew at least a small amount about, and a few others I took a gamble on, with mostly successful viewing results. The Red Panther was not one of those successful viewings. Or so I thought.

The Red Panther, I think, is some kind of misguided attempt at a Pink Panther clone following the exploits of a bumbling inspector with a moustache. From there on the similarities end. Our inspector is not on the trail of daring jewel thief, but rather a serial killer who is performing deadly operations on people. Even though it is a little more grisly in subject matter than say the other movie about a bumbling inspector, starring Peter Sellers, it still maintains a steady flow of slapstick “comedy”. In fact, most of the film is one irritating comedy bit after another, with very occasional fleeting moments of death and gore.

This is how the blurb on the back of the DVD describes the film, and I quote:

It is about a psychopath who operates on patients with serious illness. The first victim is a Chinese Opera actor with stomach complaints. The next victim is a prostitute who has breast cancer. The inspector’s mother who is a long time sufferer of rheumatism narrowly escapes from the murderer during her morning exercise. The police is no where near in apprehending the murderer. There are three main suspects…

Seriously, that was the whole blurb. I mean how could I not want to watch a movie described so amazingly.

Upon viewing The Red Panther I felt disappointed because my DVD gamble had not paid off, but I stuck it out and watched all the way to the end, through every last bit of dullness. And I was glad I did so. While this film is an incomprehensible mess of bad comedy and muddled storyline, it features possibly the greatest final few seconds of a movie I have ever seen. So here at Mondo Exploito, we have taken these final moments of The Red Panther and present them to you now to marvel at so you, our loyal readers, do not have to endure the preceding eighty-four or so minutes of banality.

Don’t worry about spoilers or anything, it’s really not worth it, just enjoy.