Thanks, Japan!Kazuo ‘Gaira’ Komizu a one of the first of the wave of Japanese directors to make graphic and shocking cinema in a sterile mainstream sea of mediocrity. Getting his nickname Gaira from a character in a kaijū movie he is a figurative monster in the film industry with experience spanning over 35 years. He is the man behind many controversial movies such as Go, Go Second Time Virgin (1969), Entrails of a Virgin (1986) and Female Inquisitor (1987). Those films are however not the subject of this review for it is Japan, the near future. An asteroid is hurtling towards earth according to all the latest scientific readouts and analysis. Nothing can conceivably stop it, there’s no Bruce Willis, no Aerosmith soundtrack not even a black president there’s only…


Original title: Batoru gâru: Tokyo crisis wars
Japan, 1991, Kazuo ‘Gaira’ Komizu


Well she cant stop the asteroid but she will protect the planet, well Japan, well only Tokyo from the zombie menace spreading from the virus the galactic hunk of rock has brought upon the human race. But wait! That’s not all that she has to contend with. In post apocalyptic Tokyo (what other kind is there really?) a faction of the military is attempting to use the virus to develop their own breed of super zombie soldiers, not quite human or zombie. So Zumans or Hombies perhaps? Led by their tyrannical leader, who is not so inconspicuously evil from the get go…

I mean, c'mon look at this guy, he's got evil written all over those aviators!

I mean, c’mon look at this guy, he’s got evil written all over those aviators!

Seriously it is probably the best use of sunglasses I’ve seen since The Killer. The General and his private army of super soldiers are no match for Battle Girl a.k.a. Keiko. Once she dons her suit of latex armor not only does she become bulletproof and has the reflexes of a seasoned ninja, she becomes a super-badass. Not even the evil general’s elite team, four of the most monosyllabic Legion of Doom impersonators ever to grace the video screen, can withstand her onslaught of vengeance. I am fairly certain that they are wrestlers not only from the outfits and wrestling finishing moves that they execute on anyone’s ass that gets in their way, but also by the quality of their acting.

Dentists in post apocalyptic Japan seem to be slightly more frightening

Dentists in post apocalyptic Japan seem to be slightly more frightening

If you are looking for a super low budget zombie sci-fi with some of the worst wigs, costumes and hammy acting then this is your gal. It is worth the watch if only for the “could-only-be-made-in-the-80’s-synth-soundtrack” and story structure that would have made Ed Wood blush. Do not be expecting any boobage in this movie, considering the director’s past exploits I was kind of waiting for this, but to my chagrin there was not a nip in sight. I do guarantee that there are set pieces and tropes galore to satisfy all you fanboys and fangirls out there. On my next jaunt I shall be reviewing a double-bill of Burst City and Bullet Ballet. You’d better read it nerds!


Battle Girl is available from the ever reliable Synapse Films.