Sexy dancing with Chow Yun Fat
You know what? I just don't feel Mondo Exploito has truly kicked things off in a new year until there's a Chow Yun Fat post.
Cat + Microwave
We've featured the ridiculous Devil's Woman on Mondo before, but if you needed more prompting to see this braindead classic of CAT III cinema, here's an exploding cat.
Dick training montage
I think we can all agree that every movie centring on gigolos requires a dick training montage. Hong Kong turd Gigolo Club delivers, though I'm not entirely sure how hot sauce helps tackle premature ejaculation.
This is how you end a movie! Part II
The abrupt, dick-destroying ending of Body Lover will likely never be topped, but today's clip comes close. This ending is taken from CAT III Modern Girls (1993). Though it spends most of its time drowning in mediocrity, its absurd ending deserves a standing ovation.
Hong Kong’s worst judge
So I know I've used Mondo Exploito's Clip of the Week articles as a bit of an outlet for my love of horrible English speaking actors appearing in Asian films and I've absolutely bombarded you with clips, but I really do think this one takes the cake.
Street Fighter, Hong Kong style
In this post are two clips that heinously misrepresent the vast majority of Future Cops. They are action-packed, shot rather well, and most likely not directed by Wong Jing.
Fucking shit!
There's very little in this world funnier than terrible English speaking actors in Hong Kong movies. It gets even funnier when they have to swear. And funnier still when the English subtitles manage to mistranslate what they're saying.
Sex ed, Hong Kong style
I'm surprised that this is my first Clip of the Week post to feature ridiculous Hong Kong sex comedy Screwball '94. Below is a scene that I think sums of the level of intelligence the film is playing with — a brain-dead scene of sex education and bread rolls.
Calamity of Snakes (1983)
Calamity of Snakes is a strange beast. On the one hand, it's kind of incredible with scene after scene of amazing set-pieces, but then you remember that you're watching hundreds upon hundreds of snakes being massacred and you start to feel depressed.
A conversation about dicks
This week's clip is an intimate discussion about dicks. Not only does this scene warn us against the dangers of "nutritious soup", it brings up that age old dilemma of whether you can put a computer inside a penis.
Orgy gone wrong
Erotic Ghost Story is not high art. It is, however, solid CAT III entertainment with plenty of laughs, nutty effects, and Amy Yip's famous cans. Below is my favourite scene — an orgy prank that ends with corpses and milky vomit.
The Haunted Cop Shop (1987)
How deep did Wai's involvement run? I don't know. He may have written a really good script that was mostly ignored on set. Or, maybe, and I like think this is true, Wong Kar-Wai wrote a film where the protagonists kill a dog.
