The Zero Boys (1986)
I say definitely give The Zero Boys a shot. It's a neat take on slashers, survival horror, and action that, judging by the fact that I hadn't heard of it in the twenty-five years I've walked this Earth, gets overlooked way too often.
Helldriver (2010)
Do you like zombies, jaunty tunes and that special brand of gory Japanese madness? If so, strap in, turn off the part of your brain that annoys you when something makes no sense, and um, helldrive, in Helldriver.
Hear No Evil aka City Dragon – German poster
This poster suggests awesome one-liners, action, sleaze and explosions. Let's just pretend that's what the movie is actually like.
Words of wisdom from Steven Seagal’s daddy
Here are some words to live your life by from True Justice, Seagal's super shitty TV show (yes, way shittier than Lawman).
Steele Justice (1987)
In-between Karate Kids, Hollywood sought fit to grant Martin Kove a leading role in an action film. Does Kove have the charisma to pull off a starring role? Spoiler alert: no.
Slow motion silliness in Trancers II
This scene from Trancers II has it all: Tim Thomerson, gunfire, squibs, slow motion stupidity, disintegrating zombie idiots, a cutaway to terrified old ladies, and an awkward one-liner.
Percy the Pimp receives a beat down
Act of Vengeance — or, as it's more obnoxiously known, The Rape Squad — is a bizarre and confused mess of a film. It plays up its feminist elements, but, at the same time, is insanely sleazy and gratuitous. In other words, it's a must see.
Screaming fighter from Sister Street Fighter
Sister Street Fighter offers a plethora of increasingly outrageous villains for Sue Shiomi and Sonny Chiba to plough their way through. My favourite from the line-up is this nunchuck-wielding screeching loon.
Steven Seagal is bad at laughing but loves his guns
While Seagal is not all that great at laughing, he knows and loves his guns. He proves this by delivering a rambling, clearly adlibbed monologue filled with fun facts and gun-praise to a few bemused cronies.
Final Score (1986)
Final Score is a film on a mission. A mission to deliver more punches, kicks, broken bones, dead stuntmen and exploding houses than any other movie, and I think it might just have succeeded.
The best fight scene in cinema history
I now know, having only seen six minutes of The Instructor, that it is the greatest film ever made. Watch as karate king Bob Chaney delivers some of the most laboured kicks and punches captured on celluloid.
Seagal destroys a restaurant
In this infamous sequence from The Glimmer Man, Seagal annihilates a restaurant, its occupants and a cannoli, even going as far to make a concluding smarmy gag about his handiwork to what must have been a very confused person on the other end of the phone.
