Words of wisdom from Steven Seagal’s daddy
Here are some words to live your life by from True Justice, Seagal's super shitty TV show (yes, way shittier than Lawman).
Steven Seagal is bad at laughing but loves his guns
While Seagal is not all that great at laughing, he knows and loves his guns. He proves this by delivering a rambling, clearly adlibbed monologue filled with fun facts and gun-praise to a few bemused cronies.
Steven Seagal doesn’t know how or when to laugh
Steven Seagal has a famously ridiculous run. His flailing arms and wobbly hands are a wonder to watch. But there's other things Seagal can't do... like laughing properly.
Steven Seagal’s DTV era, 2002 to 2012 – Part II: The Five Worst
So last week I had the surprisingly hard task of picking my five favourite Seagal direct-to-video era flicks. Not hard because I couldn’t think of five, but hard because I actually had to leave off a few I dig, such as Pistol Whipped (2008) and A Dangerous Man (2009). Yes, I’ve gotten to such a...
Steven Seagal’s DTV era, 2002 to 2012 – Part I: The Five Best
And we’re back! I hope you enjoyed your three weeks holiday from Mondo Exploito, because here I am to ruin your day with a slew of Seagal films for those who wish to brave his post-Half Past Dead (2002) era. I’ve been wanting to do this post for a long time – since the very...
Steven Seagal fights a ladyboy
It has been a while since I’ve posted any Seagal silliness, so here he is fighting a Thai ladyboy in Belly of the Beast (2003) – probably the funniest Seagal movie title after Today You Die (2005). Enjoy?
Seagal destroys a restaurant
In this infamous sequence from The Glimmer Man, Seagal annihilates a restaurant, its occupants and a cannoli, even going as far to make a concluding smarmy gag about his handiwork to what must have been a very confused person on the other end of the phone.
Horrible dubbing in Seagal’s Attack Force
The best thing about bad ADR in a Steven Seagal DTV vehicle is that they don’t even bother to get someone that sounds like him. By far the worst (best) of Seagal’s ill-matched post-production voices can be heard in the amazingly shit Attack Force (2006). There’s so many great scenes of shoddy ADR that I...
Seagal’s finest bar brawl
Steven Seagal loves bar brawls. This clip from Out for Justice (1991) is my favourite Seagal bar brawl – and possibly even my favourite Seagal scene ever. Enjoy as Seagal arrogantly swaggers his way through the fight taking on a stupid amount of tough guys and barely receiving a scratch in the process.
Um… what the fuck, Seagal?!
There’s no denying that Steven Seagal likes breaking necks. He also enjoys breaking arms and throwing motherfuckers through windows too. But he really, really likes breaking necks. In Urban Justice (known as Renegade Justice outside of America), Seagal lovingly demonstrates his fondness of a good neck snappin’ by paralysing/murdering several reasonably harmless lackeys. Here is...
Under Siege – Ghanaian poster
It's been a while since I've posted a poster from Ghana. It's also been a while since I've posted about Steven Seagal. Let's kill two birds with one hilarious Ghanaian poster.
Excessive Force (1993)
It's cheesy in the right spots and brutal when it needs to be. If you want to take a break from Seagal and Van Damme but still have a hankering for 90s action, Excessive Force is a worthwhile sidestep.
