Contamination – US VHS cover
I am quite a fan of Luigi Cozzi's wonderful gem, Contamination. It's a solid film worthy of one's time. It's hard to imagine the audience the below cover is appealing to however.
The best fight scene in cinema history
I now know, having only seen six minutes of The Instructor, that it is the greatest film ever made. Watch as karate king Bob Chaney delivers some of the most laboured kicks and punches captured on celluloid.
Hansel e Gretel (1990)
It's hard to say whether Fulci at any point sat in the director's chair during the production of this. My guess is no. Though Fulci was not at the top of his game in 1990, his flourishes could still be seen in even his cheapest work. None are apparent here.
Nekromantik 2 – Arrow’s blu-ray cover
Gilles Vranckx's artwork perfectly captures the foul but oddly romantic and serene tone of Jörg Buttgereit's thoughtful musing on necrophilia.
Dick training montage
I think we can all agree that every movie centring on gigolos requires a dick training montage. Hong Kong turd Gigolo Club delivers, though I'm not entirely sure how hot sauce helps tackle premature ejaculation.
Hollywood Cop (1987)
RAPING, ROBBING, KIDNAPPING, KILLING... THE ACTION NEVER STOPS. This is the tagline that’s proudly displayed on the poster for Hollywood Cop, so my expectations were pretty high already.
Varan (バラン Baran)
Poor Varan. I feel bad for him. Not only is he needlessly persecuted by twattish scientists, but he's also pretty boring as a monster. Varan the Unremarkable, am I right?! Hahaha! Ahem. Sorry.
Body Shop – US VHS cover
Take this glorious cover for Body Shop. It's not quite right, is it? The face is out of proportion. Those fingers aren't quite long enough. So why does it look so good?
Seagal destroys a restaurant
In this infamous sequence from The Glimmer Man, Seagal annihilates a restaurant, its occupants and a cannoli, even going as far to make a concluding smarmy gag about his handiwork to what must have been a very confused person on the other end of the phone.
Woods Are Wet: Woman Hell (1973)
I've seen far more repulsive Roman Pornos, but there's something exceptionally unnerving about Woods Are Wet. Kumashiro mixes sex, death and sadism into the bleakest of tales. This is one Roman Porno I won't be forgetting in a hurry.
Ghost Shark (2013)
Ghost Shark is about a killer shark, and that shark is a ghost. Great, sign me up. But if you promise big things in the title, you have to deliver. In that regard, Ghost Shark delivers just enough ghost shark action to overcome the flat periods.
I Drink Your Blood – Italian poster
Man, I love this Italian locandina for foamy-mouthed 70s classic I Drink Your Blood!
