Thanks, Jean-René Gossart!
Recently, I had the pleasure of seeing Golden Temple Amazons (1986), a synth-fueled piece of silliness directed by Alain Payet and an uncredited Jess Franco (apparently his contribution was very small). The film is plenty entertaining; its highlight being a demented performance from Jean-René Gossart. I have no idea who Gossart is. Looking at his...
Ray Harryhausen’s Centaur
I was about seven years old. I think I was at my grandparents’ house and had been put down in front of the television. From memory, it was a little past my bedtime. There was a movie on – The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1974). It was amazing. I hadn’t seen anything like it before....
Stolen Nazi testicles
Naziploitation really does blow my mind. How was such an obnoxious and offensive sub-genre allowed to exist and thrive? Lucky it was, I love these historically inaccurate nasties that usually, unsurprisingly, hail from Italy. No matter how cheap they are, they always pack a seedy slap. The Naziploitation sub-genre also gets pretty darn ludicrous, especially...
Hilarious end credits from Chopping Mall
You know what’s awesome about Jim Wynorski’s Chopping Mall (1986)? FUCKING EVERYTHING: a great title, killer robots, action, violence, 80s haircuts, 80s music, a cool shopping mall setting, a short and sweet running time, Barbara Crampton, Dick Miller, Russell Todd… hell, even Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov show up to pay tribute to Eating Raoul!...
Man scream
I know I only very recently posted a clip from an Andy Sidaris film, but after watching Day of the Warrior (1996), I just had to share this amazing moment with you. Enjoy one of the film’s heroes as he screams in terror…
Doudou
There’s nothing worse than bad comedy. Unless that comedy is so horribly unfunny that it becomes the funniest thing ever. In this scene from Faceless, Jess Franco demonstrates his comedic chops with perhaps the most painfully unfunny scene ever, which of course makes it the funniest scene ever. Franco gives us a wailing homosexual stereotype,...
Best delivery of “FUCK!” ever?
I’ve been making my way through Girls, Guns and G-Strings: The Andy Sidaris Collection, easily my favourite DVD purchase of last year. Every film has been fucking hilarious and full of explosions, boobs and guns – what more could you possibly want? This week I watched Hard Hunted (1992), and this pained and awkward delivery...
A gross hallucination from Possessed
I wouldn’t say Possessed (1983) is Hong Kong filmmaking at its finest, but, for all its (many) faults and sloppy pacing, it is entertaining. Perhaps the most frustrating problem with Possessed is how great its scenes of horror are – they are so rare that I was hugely frustrated and gagging for more in-between. My...
Tiger lady dance from Vampire Circus
Vampire Circus (1972) has got to be one of the oddest film’s in Hammer’s back catalogue. While it’s far from their best (mostly due to filming cut short due to budgetary constraints), it remains one of their more original and ambitious efforts from the 1970s. Here’s an especially fantastic scene…
“We’re British, you know!”
Horror Express is easily my favourite Cushing/Lee vehicle. It has a great claustrophobic setting, a killer score, a great monster, disturbing death scenes and, of course, Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee (they even team up in this one – a rare event). There’s some fantastic and cheesy lines delivered by the legendary duo. Here’s my...
Joysticks – You WILL NOT go to the arcade again
Joysticks is one of those movies that, by law, I HAVE to like because it is, in some sense, about old videogames. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is. The Wizard is a profound, life-changing movie, and Joysticks is the pinnacle of comedic genius. You can present me with all the empirical truth...
One of the many dance montages from Murder Rock
Murder Rock (1984) – or Dancing Death – is a seriously underrated effort from the late great Fulci. While not quite as good as his better known works, it’s surprisingly entertaining with a serviceable plot and creepy death scenes. And there’s just something hilariously hypnotic about its many dance scenes. The overly sweaty bodies, the...
