Cynthia Rothrock destroys Richard Norton with a thousand kicks
Well, maybe not a thousand, but there's certainly an inordinate amount of kicking in this clip from Lady Dragon.
Rutger Hauer shoots a rat
Rutget Hauer's performance in 1992's action/sci-fi hybrid Split Second is a thing of beauty. He chomps down so much scenery that he can barely contain his Dutch accent. He's extraordinarily entertaining. He also shoots a rat.
An unexpected headbutt
My favourite moment of bad movie lunacy in Raw Force is a lengthy party scene, which functions like a collection of nonsensical sketches. It's hard to pick out a single moment from it, but I thoroughly enjoyed this absurd headbutt.
Best worst line reading ever
I don't think I've ever pressed rewind so many times, and all to hear a mangled line of dialogue over and over again. I'd imagine the Japanese director of Gappa had no clue how horrifically this poor gaijin actor, clearly not a native speaker, was delivering his line.
Wise words from a man of science
I thoroughly enjoyed the bizarre hodgepodge of horror and softcore delivered by The Jekyll and Hyde Portfolio. Below is a rather fantastic bit of inane scripting where a man of science gives some truly thought-provoking words of wisdom while a police detective looks at the camera nervously...
Absurd tongue torture in Japanese Hell
Jigoku is two unfinished films mashed awkwardly into one, and the results are as messy as you'd expect. The absurdity hits its peak towards the end of the film where we watch a bunch of evil assholes get tongue tortured.
A conversation about dicks
This week's clip is an intimate discussion about dicks. Not only does this scene warn us against the dangers of "nutritious soup", it brings up that age old dilemma of whether you can put a computer inside a penis.
Worst prank ever
This moustachioed dickhead has to be among the worst heroes in cinema history. Generally, the horror movie prankster has the good sense to quit with the pranks once it becomes apparent that people have actually died. Not Deepak Parashar.
Bruce Willis punches up Vernon Wells
So why I am featuring a clip from a mediocre film starring Bruce Willis on Mondo Exploito? Well, on the receiving end of Bruce's beating is none other than Australia's second best man, Vernon Wells!
The best way to convince your sister to marry you is to give her a bear
ATOR: The Fighting Eagle teaches the viewer many vital lessons about how one should approach common life scenarios. Case in point: watch how Ator carefully broaches the topic of an incestuous marriage with his sister by first offering her a bear.
Weird porny Japanese trailer I found on a sticky old tape
I totally forgot about Clip of the Week today. I'm in the middle of shooting a feature, so you'll have to forgive me. Anyway, I dug through my piles of garbage and pulled out this confusing porny trailer.
How to react to your husband’s dead body
Urban Flesh is a thoroughly entertaining piece of trash. It is an admirable effort made with clear passion and talent, but it still (thankfully) features those moments of absurd acting you hope for in an ultra low budget feature.
