Cinema’s most awkward and befuddling fight scene
If you have not yet seen The Occultist, HOLY SHIT. STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW. FIND IT, WATCH IT, COME BACK A CHANGED PERSON.
The best fight scene in cinema history
I now know, having only seen six minutes of The Instructor, that it is the greatest film ever made. Watch as karate king Bob Chaney delivers some of the most laboured kicks and punches captured on celluloid.
Hong Kong’s worst judge
So I know I've used Mondo Exploito's Clip of the Week articles as a bit of an outlet for my love of horrible English speaking actors appearing in Asian films and I've absolutely bombarded you with clips, but I really do think this one takes the cake.
Fucking shit!
There's very little in this world funnier than terrible English speaking actors in Hong Kong movies. It gets even funnier when they have to swear. And funnier still when the English subtitles manage to mistranslate what they're saying.
Raging Sharks (2005)
A bizarre and terribly uneven mix of outer space sci-fi, underwater horror, and naval drama, Raging Sharks is a shark film like no other. While I'm not much of a fan of the Shark New Wave, the garbage pumped out by Nu Image Films is generally pretty entertaining.
An unexpected headbutt
My favourite moment of bad movie lunacy in Raw Force is a lengthy party scene, which functions like a collection of nonsensical sketches. It's hard to pick out a single moment from it, but I thoroughly enjoyed this absurd headbutt.
Best worst line reading ever
I don't think I've ever pressed rewind so many times, and all to hear a mangled line of dialogue over and over again. I'd imagine the Japanese director of Gappa had no clue how horrifically this poor gaijin actor, clearly not a native speaker, was delivering his line.
Wise words from a man of science
I thoroughly enjoyed the bizarre hodgepodge of horror and softcore delivered by The Jekyll and Hyde Portfolio. Below is a rather fantastic bit of inane scripting where a man of science gives some truly thought-provoking words of wisdom while a police detective looks at the camera nervously...
Dungeon of Harrow’s harrowing spider puppet
Earlier this year, I shared a screamy moment from Dungeon of Harrow. Well, here's another choice scene featuring more screaming, mind-melting acting, and a cute spider puppet.
Bad English in Dragon Fight
Billy Tang's Dragon Fight — a decent Jet Li actioner — features an entire room of confused foreign actors. The dubbed English dialogue constantly mumbles and bumbles over the scene. Someone even yells "SHUT UP!" in the middle of the scene.
Amazingly bad English speaking actors in Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah
You know you’re in for a bloody good laugh when an English speaking actor appears in a Godzilla film. Here’s my personal favourite moment of horrible gaijin acting from Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (1991) – enjoy!
