Thanks, Japan!I still get a little shiver of delight every time a changeover cue dot pops up onscreen during a pink film. I know pinku eiga is a dying commodity, but it pleases me to no end that a boob-filled film made to play in a grimy cinema that men stalk about in looking for someone to wank them off can still be shot on film in 2013. It pleases me even more when the film in question is incredibly entertaining.


original title: Mutchiri kasei-fu: Sui-tsuki go hôshi
Japan, 2013, Mototsugu Watanabe

Sôhei Aiba (Kikujirô Honda) is not impressed when his wife, Ruriko (Mirei Yokoyama), brings home Milk (Tia) from her prayers at a local shrine. Milk is insane, or so Sôhei and his son, Kôichi (Yasunari Kubota), think. She dresses like a loon, frantically eats raw fish, and claims to be a “baby angel” who needs to perform good deeds before she is given her wings.

Considering this is a pink film, “good deeds” translates to “get naked and have sex a lot”. In-between eating hunks of raw fish, that’s exactly what Milk and her giant knockers do. The Aiba family is legitimately in need of her help. Ruriko appears to be having an affair. Sôhei is out of work. And Kôichi is desperate to get into a prestigious university. Can Milk’s rampant nudity save the family? Probably. Yes.

Milk the Maid is similar in premise to a Watanabe effort from over a decade earlier, Whore Angels (2000). Both centre on angels who seek to do good through their sexuality and both are extraordinarily silly filled with slapstick and cross-eyed performances. Though it takes the same goofy approach, Milk the Maid is surprisingly sweet with a few borderline heartwarming moments. It is a far better film than Whore Angels.

Milk the Maid looks far nicer than the average nu-pink film. The cinematography from Watanabe collaborator Masahide Iioka is slick and thoughtful. Watanabe seems to have learnt the limitations of his budgets. Special effects are only briefly featured, instead the focus is placed on the actors.

Watanabe’s cast serves him well. I wouldn’t say AV star Tia gives a great performance in the lead, but she’s well cast. Her kind of absurd aesthetic is perfectly suited to the ridiculous character she plays. She overplays all of her lines and actions, and it works. Apparently her boobs are fake. Her plastic surgeon should receive a medal.

I was surprised to learn that Mirei Yokoyama, who plays Ruriko, is also an AV star. Her performance is underplayed and really quite good. Her sex scenes are outrageously steamy. Honda and Kubota, in the roles of father and son, at first grated on me, but they grow from open-mouthed, wide-eyed caricatures to oddly likeable characters. Ayum shows up in a small but fun role as a bully who likes hotdogs.

In terms of titillation, Milk the Maid gets the job done. If giggling live-action anime girls is your thing, there’s Tia. For those who like hotdog guzzling bad-asses, there’s Ayum. And if you prefer a more natural look, there’s Mirei Yokoyama (who evidentially has put a lot of thought into what she would do with a “man-pet”). The sex is not relentless. There’s a good balance between story and rude bits.

If you’re in the mood for a light and fluffy pinku eiga, free from nihilism and weeping, then Milk the Maid may be for you. It’s fast-paced, funny at times, and has an oddly touching ending. This is definitely a pink film I’ll be returning to.


Milk the Maid is available on DVD from Pink Eiga. The DVD is the best looking disc the company has put out so far. It’s rare to see a pink film looking this good. Included as extras is an interview with the film’s editor, Shoji Sakai, a featurette entitled “What is Pink Eiga?”, and a stack of trailers for other pink films. I highly recommend picking this up and supporting an excellent company.