NAME: 
King Caesar (キングシーサー Kingu Shisa)
FIRST APPEARS IN:
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974)
DESIGN FEATURES:
– rabbit ears
– inappropriate scales
– shit-eating grin
– claws
SKILLS AND QUIRKS:
– being extremely unhelpful
– creating misplaced mystique
– laying dormant inside a mountain for bloody ages
– jumping about like a lunatic and getting his ass kicked
– being a giant disappointment to Godzilla
MONSTER SOUNDS:
I’m going to keep this month’s Kaijū Menagerie brief. I’ve just had laser eye surgery and staring at the screen is a little painful. With my somewhat blurry state in mind, I’ve chosen what is possibly the most ridiculous monster in the Godzilla universe – King Caesar. King Caesar appears in the excellent Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974), which, along with its direct sequel, Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975), is one of the most enjoyable Godzilla films of the Shōwa era. Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla pits Godzilla, for the first time, against his (in my humble opinion) greatest adversary – the fantastic Mechagodzilla. While the film is great, it spends a lot of its running time building up Godzilla’s one-off sidekick, King Caesar. King Caesar is talked about constantly, and when he finally wakes up (he spends most of the film asleep), an hour into the film, the excitement hits fever pitch. Hell, King Caesar even gets his own song (sadly I couldn’t upload the video due to Toho’s intense love of copyright):
Wake the fuck up, King Caesar!
But once King Caesar is awake, it becomes painfully obvious that he is not a kaijū in the league of Godzilla or Mechagodzilla. In fact, of every single gigantic monster in every single Godzilla film, he is undoubtedly the most useless. The remaining fifteen minutes or so of Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla involves King Caesar being beaten senseless by Mechagodzilla and just generally getting in the way. Now, to be fair, King Caesar may have been somewhat rusty after the centuries spent dormant inside a mountain, but come on! This guy hardly get a punch in! King Caesar is the “guardian” of the Azumi family, and they tell us of a prophecy, which says that King Caesar will one day, with Godzilla, give Mechagodzilla a whopping. If I was the Azumi family, I would be sorely fucking disappointing with my guardian kaijū.
King Caesar cowers behind a rock
I know I’m ragging on King Caesar something fierce, but, in all honesty, I actually really enjoy his miniscule appearance in Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla. He ranks among the most bizarrely designed of Godzilla franchise kaijū, coming close to topping Hedorah. He is the only kaijū to appear in Godzilla’s films – from my memory – that takes elements from furry mammals rather than insects or reptiles. According to the Godzilla wiki, “Caesar’s appearance was inspired by the Shisa, a beast that looks like a combination between a lion and a dog. The Shisa is prevalent in Okinawa mythology and is of Chinese origin.” While I can’t argue with that, there’s definitely a bit of rabbit tossed in there too.
I suppose reflecting Mechagodzilla’s rainbows rays is a kind of cool ability
King Caesar has made only one other film appearance to date in the form of a pathetic cameo in the equally pathetic Godzilla: Final Wars (2004). I’d rather remember him for all his wonderful worthlessness in Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla. Hope you’re resting well after your fifteen minute beat down, King Caesar!
