Night of the Sharks (1988)

I’ve said it before on Mondo Exploito and I’ll say it again: put a shark in a movie and I’m happy. No matter how shit the shark looks or how limited its screen time is, I’m guaranteed to get some enjoyment out of the film. Seriously. Once I was channel surfing and an episode of Flipper came on where Flipper fights a shark. Those brief and pathetic minutes were enough to have me squealing with delight. I also – and this is rather embarrassing – always get a little rush of fear whenever I see a fin or a rubbery fake shark. That’s how terrified I am of sharks. Even sitting here, typing this and thinking about great white sharks is enough to get my heart racing a little. With all that in mind, I give you Mondo Exploito‘s newest and dumbest regular article… Sharksploitation! Shark fans assemble!

 

NIGHT OF THE SHARKS
original title: La notte degli squali
Italy, 1988, Tonino Ricci

Night of the Sharks, I suppose, is more of a crime-thriller-action-whatever rather than a flat-out shark film. Here’s how the story goes. There’s this douche by the name of James Ziegler (Carlo Mucari), and he’s conned some gangsters into giving him two million bucks in diamonds in return for a CD he has with evidence of their illegal political dealings. The trade goes ahead, but then the gangsters screw over James and blow him the fuck up. Luckily, James has sent a copy of the CD to his brother, David (Treat Williams). David seems to be just some beach bum. He lives right next to the water and spends his days yelling at a shark called Cyclops. David, his sidekick Paco (Antonio Fargas), his ex-wife (Janet Agren) and various other friends have their lives thrown into danger by David’s idiot (and now dead) brother as arch-villain Rosentski (John Steiner) sends his gangsters gunning for them. Oh yeah, and Cyclops the man-eating shark doesn’t help matters either by occasionally eating people.

Night of the Sharks pretty much only has negative reviews on IMDB. Here are a few choice quotes:

“This is an exercise in patience. It’s like having your teeth cleaned by a bad dental hygienist.” – Hitchcoc

“This is one really bad movie. I’ve racked my brain and I cannot come up with one positive comment to make.” – bensonmum2

“Until near the end, this movie cannot seem to decide what it is. Is it an action film, a horror movie, or a crime movie? It won’t take you long to figure out what kind of movie it is, it’s a boring movie!” – Michael A. Martinez

I’m not sure if it’s my undying love for shark films or years of abuse from bad movies, but I had a damned fine time with Night of the Sharks! To respectfully disagree with one of the reviews above, the film is never dull. There’s lots of action, explosions, underwater photography, eye-pleasing locations, stupid bar fights, moronic dialogue and inappropriately and gloriously synth-infused music. Yes, Night of the Sharks has an unmistakable Italian stench and I thank it for that. Sure the plot is a mess, but it’s serviceable and, quite frankly, unimportant in a film like this. We’re also blessed with a pretty spectacularly silly cast. The great John Steiner chomps down on the scenery something rotten giving us a ridiculous and fun villain. Antonio Fargas and Christopher Connelly make for entertaining background characters. Best of all, and in complete contrast to Steiner, we get the Prince of Wooden Performances, Treat Williams. Treat’s character is a befuddling one. For some reason, every one around him loves him – ladies, men of the cloth and even kids. This is despite Treat’s total lack of emotion – his brother and ex-wife die, he mourns for the following scene and then is back to grinning like a buffoon in the next. Treat really hates sharks leading to one of the film’s funniest moments. Watching someone yell at a shark is very special… yeah, fuck you, shark:

Of course, all of the above is irrelevant when discussing the film’s Shark Rating. I won’t lie. Shark fans may be disappointed by this one. It is, after all, a crime-thriller-action-whatever before it’s a shark film. But I must still award it three sharks out of a possible five for a few reasons. Firstly, the shark scenes are pretty decent. The shark is fairly small, but the film scores points for mostly using a real shark. The film’s underwater photography is also impressive. Night of the Sharks does not suffer from an overuse of stock footage as so many shark films do. The fake shark is quite bad and used sparingly, but it is on screen enough to scores some laughter points. Huge shark points must be given for having the shark roar underwater at one point. It’s not quite as absurd as the roar in Jaws: The Revenge (1987), but it’s still pretty funny. And finally, Cyclops – the shark in question – must be commended for its intense love of human flesh. Night of the Sharks plays out as some sort of selachophobian nightmare. No one can enter the water near the protagonist’s beach house without getting attacked by the shark. Every time a character falls into the water, it’s a death/mauling sentence. You have to appreciate that sort of commitment!

Based on its IMDB reviews, I’m guessing I’m in the minority with this one. Chances are my fellow shark fans will be left unimpressed. But hey, if you keep your expectations rock bottom, maybe you’ll enjoy it as much as I did. Probably not though, eh?