Street Fighter, Hong Kong style
In this post are two clips that heinously misrepresent the vast majority of Future Cops. They are action-packed, shot rather well, and most likely not directed by Wong Jing.
Fucking shit!
There's very little in this world funnier than terrible English speaking actors in Hong Kong movies. It gets even funnier when they have to swear. And funnier still when the English subtitles manage to mistranslate what they're saying.
Sex ed, Hong Kong style
I'm surprised that this is my first Clip of the Week post to feature ridiculous Hong Kong sex comedy Screwball '94. Below is a scene that I think sums of the level of intelligence the film is playing with — a brain-dead scene of sex education and bread rolls.
Her Vengeance – Thai poster
Ngai Choi Lam's Her Vengeance — in its proper uncut form — is about as out of control as rape-revenge films come. Its native Hong Kong poster doesn't quite capture its chaotic brilliance, so I'll hand things over to Thailand.
Calamity of Snakes (1983)
Calamity of Snakes is a strange beast. On the one hand, it's kind of incredible with scene after scene of amazing set-pieces, but then you remember that you're watching hundreds upon hundreds of snakes being massacred and you start to feel depressed.
A conversation about dicks
This week's clip is an intimate discussion about dicks. Not only does this scene warn us against the dangers of "nutritious soup", it brings up that age old dilemma of whether you can put a computer inside a penis.
Orgy gone wrong
Erotic Ghost Story is not high art. It is, however, solid CAT III entertainment with plenty of laughs, nutty effects, and Amy Yip's famous cans. Below is my favourite scene — an orgy prank that ends with corpses and milky vomit.
The Haunted Cop Shop (1987)
How deep did Wai's involvement run? I don't know. He may have written a really good script that was mostly ignored on set. Or, maybe, and I like think this is true, Wong Kar-Wai wrote a film where the protagonists kill a dog.
Men from the Gutter (1983)
Though it lacks the lunacy of his most famous works, Men from the Gutter could well be Lam's best film. This is an absolute must-see for both Lam fans and anyone with a passing interest in Hong Kong cinema.
Puppet fart
Saga of the Phoenix, Lam Ngai Kai's lacklustre followup to Peacock King, is worth watching for one reason and one reason alone: to see a puppet fart in Biao Yuen's face.
Bad English in Dragon Fight
Billy Tang's Dragon Fight — a decent Jet Li actioner — features an entire room of confused foreign actors. The dubbed English dialogue constantly mumbles and bumbles over the scene. Someone even yells "SHUT UP!" in the middle of the scene.
Pituitary Hunter – Thai poster
It has been far too long since we've featured a wacky Thai poster. Please accept this insane Thai poster for Category III curio Pituitary Hunter as an apology.
